It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
