Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
