Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
