If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
