I'm so fucking centered right now
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
3pm strippers are depressing
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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