I need help removing her.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
