i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
