I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Randomize
