he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
