Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
