I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think I died a long time ago.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
