why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
