your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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