she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
