everyone is single if you try hard enough
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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