I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
