I wish I could punch you in the face.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
