i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize