So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Blood and glitter go together right?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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