I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
