I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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