So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
