No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
