Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
