Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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