So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
