Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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