please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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