you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
