I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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