I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
