You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize