bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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