Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
