I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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