When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
