genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
