I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
