I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
