I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize