are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think my vagina is haunted
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
