Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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