I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
