She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
