What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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