I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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