You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
