I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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