You're so nebulous sometimes
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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