i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Enjoy the penises
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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