I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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