I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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