Don't you send me to vm
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize