Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
