so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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