do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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