Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
