Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
