she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
