I love black thongs
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
