I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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