Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
