And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
BRING THE BAGELS
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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