My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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