Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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