Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
