good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I will pee on everything he values.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
