She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
