Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
